Death and Redemption
by KaoruChanXD
Summary: Inspired from a Role Play. Riku and Hana were once lovers, but Hana leaves Riku, and Riku is swallowed in Darkness once again. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED.
1. Chapter 1

**PLEASE BE AWARE: This was written when I was sad myself. I did not make the rating Mature because it was not serious but ****PLEASE use discretion when reading this particular fan fiction. **

Riku and Hana [Hana is my best friend's character were at one point dating but they broke up... and Riku was completely crushed. Does he actually die, or does he just hurt himself? I myself cannot tell. I love this written work and if I should gain a fair amount of attention for it then I will consider writing a part two. If there is any errors in the document please PM me [do not leave a review spilling my mistakes; I would rather you PM me about it and let me know how I can revise it to make it better.

This is written in Riku's POV [Point of View. Just though I would say that now in case there is any confusion.

* * *

She. Her. That girl.

Unraveling the vines of my heart, peeling them away and thrusting her soul into my own.

Rather than taking down the wall I surrounded myself with, she found a way to jump over, and she made me her own.

Completely seduced from the minute I saw her. Captivated by her beauty and lack of love.

Unable to take my eyes off her, unable to breathe in her presence.

Why should my heart beat at all, anymore? It has no purpose. It stores love, but it can not longer give it.

I made the mistake of thinking she was the only one for me. That she was my sunshine during the storms.

Crying tears does me no good, but at least the pain washes my face when I do.

Saltiness…

No longer is my purpose important. I am here to live, yet have no reason to live.

I thrust my sword into the ground. It cannot be pulled out to spill the blood of anyone. It should not have to. I have nothing to guard any longer.

My throat feels like it has been squeezed shut. Once again, I cannot breathe, but at the same time, that air is what I need most.

I watch as I dig the sharp object into my arm, my wrist, my hand…

Blood. The crimson hope. When I am gone, the world will be right again.

Sliding down my arm, crimson blood paints a new me, a me that will arise into the air and vanish, like the wind.

She does not know. She will never. How could she know. She cares not of my name any longer.

The clouds are white, the sky ocean blue, the sun shining blissfully as I lay in the grass, inhaling and exhaling my last breaths of this life that has robbed me of everything.

I only threw my sword down and gave up when I realized I had nothing to fight for. Allowing the Darkness to swallow me might have been a bad idea, but it was worse than hiding from both Light and Darkness.

I hear nothing. No one looking for me. No one calling my name, searching for me, begging me to return and stay…

She won.

Her biggest mistake was leading me on.

To pretend she loved me, when in truth, her love was not deep.

Laughter. The last noise I am able to produce. I laugh because it is ironic, that I had thought life was wonderful, and I laugh sadly, because my love had been dried up.

Her flowing hair, which grew past her shoulders.

Her eyes, which captivated me the most. Those beautiful eyes.

Those soft lips…

Those gentle but strong hands…

She is beautiful.

That I am sure.

I close my eyes, tears streaming out of my eyes. It is hard to die on such a wonderful day as this.

I open them again. She is there.

She is standing above, looking down at me, her face easily readable.

She is unable to understand.

I sigh, quietly, as I feel myself falling into unconsciousness, falling into the unknown…

I could have sworn.

She said.

"_Don't go."_

* * *

This is the conclusion Riku's "Goodbye"... for now. Please tell me what you though about it! 


	2. Chapter 2

A few days after I wrote this, I came to the conclusion that I just couldn't end the story with the way it was. They had never got to say good bye or resolve their problems, and I found that a bit too depressing. The next part of the story is equally depressing at first but it gets better at the end. My only regret is that it's so short. I'd like to type longer fan fictions, but I didn't want to drag this story out. I hope you enjoy this as much as I did writing this.

**Disclaimer : Some of the content in this is depressing/disturbing. READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED. _All opinions expressed in this fanfiction are purely my own, so if you don't agree, please refrain from saying so viciously. I accept anything that will help me to make this fanfiction better._ **

* * *

_As I'm falling down below, I can hear her voice better… picture her face perfectly. _

_God, oh God, why do this to your child? Make another living human being so addicting, so captivating, make her mine, then have her rip me shreds? Am I not a worthy cause? Haven't I been a good person? Maybe being a good person wasn't enough. Perhaps I lacked something. Perhaps my lesson here was to NOT have her, precisely because I was the only one who loved her more than anyone else and did everything in my power to be the best for her and protect her always? And what fairness is that? To have something as precious as her taken away from me, leaving me left to die, leaving me to nothingness…._

_But maybe I have it all wrong. Perhaps that's not why I am here. I look around, taking in what I see. Then I am shocked. Nothing. I see nothing._

_There is nothing to describe the state in which I find myself. Everything is white. There is no sky, no ground, nothing. It is as though Heaven has rejected me, but Hell has as well. I am filled with grief, and I fall to my knees, as everything within me pours out. It's more than tears. It's more than sorrow… all love, all hate, all sadness, everything, it disperses throughout the universe (or world?) I am forced to remain in, no one around, not a single living thing other than me. Why has God, in all his mighty and love, excluded me? Why has Satan, in all his bitterness and evil, turned his eyes away from me and left me to suffer a torture far worse than Hell? Love is agony, I realize. Love is worthless!_

_I test to see if I can explore this world I find myself spirited away in. Every step I take, I feel myself become more and more grieved. I am worthless. A reject. Nobody. I am Nobody._

_Then another thought reaches my mind: have I a heart at all? I can think, surely. My mind is swelled with thoughts, which I would prefer to go unmentioned but it doesn't matter anyhow -- I am alone with no one to engage into my thoughts. But have I a heart? Have I a soul at all? Has God striped me of that too?_

_God. I am furious at him. Why, why, oh merciful Lord, have you done this to me? Is this his idea of a justified punishment? My intentions were never to harm a soul. I have not denied anyone the right to live unless they have taken another's life themselves. I was a good person. I could've grown to be a good man as well. All I dreamed was of having a family, with her -- of course -- and living to be a righteous man and help the world. Sure, I had my battle with the Darkness. Doesn't everyone?_

_Now I am furious with Satan as well, as ridiculous as it is. Why spare me of Death, of Torture? I would rather burn than be left here alone! I would rather have a reason to be burned! Couldn't I be supplied with a justification as to why I remain to be alone when I have only done good? I almost wish I had done wrong. Then at least I would be punished, instead of left for nothing._

_I sit, fuming, depressed, alone. Perhaps I am missing something. The key to this puzzle…. A puzzle that is only wearing my spirits down. Then it dawns on me that I DO have a heart and a soul, but merely for the purpose to supply this agony with a stronger force. Then I'm fading. Not completely fading, but my Will, and my feelings… I feel like a child, abandoned by his father, left to take on the world on my own…_

_I lay down, my eyes closed, better than open. I picture myself younger, listening… my mother is dead now, I know…I watched her leave this world. The troubled look on my father's face. He wore a look that had years of love, and his eyes a look of watching years of love fade into Death. How did I understand what it was like, even then as a child? Watching my father look at her, never shedding a tear, but he had wanted to… he wanted so badly to scream, to yell, to cry, yet because I was there, he was controlled. Then he began to drink. It took him years later to stop, to go on…_

_After a second of thinking, I cannot not take much more. God took my mother away when my father had not done a single thing! He had merely loved her, cared for her, CARED FOR ME! I stood up, screaming, crying, wishing I could be heard. I screamed longer, louder, louder…_

_The child that tried to defend his friend was killed by another boy with a gun. He wanted peace, but died in violence. The poor girl who was abused by her parents and was killed. No one listened to her. No one protected her. Her death could have been prevented…_

_The father who died saving his children. He gave his everything to his wife, then gave his life for his family. The two teens who thought they knew what was love was that committed suicide together because their families would not allow them being together._

_Such sad endings… such unfairness… that they die, and they are Nobody, except to the people who knew them. Where was God? Why didn't he save his people? What is love? Where is the love? Where… where is the love… and then, I know why. I understand everything, and suddenly, all the anger and hate I once had is rushing all around me, vanishing, gone, replaced by something else. It's not fear. Not exactly happiness… but… joy._

_Joy._

_But why? Joy?_

_Joy._

_I am filled with joy. With love._

_I was once screaming, but I am down on my knees, looking up above, breathlessly laughing to up above. This place… it all makes sense…_

_Where I am is Light. That I know for certain. If I was ever unsure of anything, then that doesn't matter to me at all now. All of that is forgiven, because I am being filled with as much Light as I can contain, and more!_

_Why did all those bad things happen? Why would God allow it? I think about it. My mother may have died, and my father may have became bitter and sorrowful, but then, year later, he has found a dear friend of his who he used to hate but then he decided to forgive the man. And when he found it in his place to be friends with him, the man returned the favor. Such grief, yes. But love is only gained after suffering. Isn't working more enjoyable when you know at the end you will receive a reward? We picture our lives more perfect, but it will never be perfect, and it's all the more beautiful._

_I was once a part of Darkness. Darkness, which isn't just isolation, but the absence of Light itself… I have tried for too long to live on my own, in Darkness. But I can't… not anymore. We were not made to live in Darkness. Life is easier to live when we see what we are doing in it._

_I close myself, breathing in, then spreading my arms open wide._

_"I will exchange my Darkness for your Light…"_

In an instant, I find myself far from the altar of Light, back to where I remember my life. I hear voices and see vague images of people above me… rubbing my eyes, I look and see. My friends! My dear friends! They are saying my name, I am sure, though I don't understand. Then I feel a hand on mine. It grips my hand tightly, and I think I feel moisture. In a second, I realize they are warm tears. I finally open my eyes wide enough and concentrate on what is holding my hand.

"R-Riku…" it stutters quietly. "I'm sorry Riku, I'm sorry… I will NEVER do that EVER again…!! I didn't realize you were so - so…" I realize the person is Hana. This surprises me, but I let her go on. "Riku, the truth is… I was always with those others guys, but I never feel quite the same. I'm so much happier being with you… I don't want to go without you anymore... I need you!"

I sit up, aware that I am dizzy, seeing as I am swaying back and forth a bit. "I.. forgive you… as I am forgiven too…" I smile, and I find myself falling back on my pillow. "I love you, Hana," I mutter quietly, smiling still. I am aware that I'm losing consciousness gradually, but right before I do, I remember chuckling as I felt lips pressing against my own, and a soft whisper that said, "I love you too."

Darkness can live in us for days, months, and even years. Darkness takes root within our core and spreads quickly and effectively. Often we don't realize the Darkness is there. Darkness is hard to destroy and get rid of. The only thing that can vanquish the Darkness is Light. Even a little bit of Light can shine brightly in the Dark.


End file.
